Emotional Responsibility

When dealing with a prospect, you’re going to have strong emotional reactions: to the questions you’re asked, the objections thrown at you, and even to the prospect’s personality and demeanor—you don’t like every prospect you encounter, do you?  This begs the question, When you react emotionally in a selling situation, who is responsible for that emoting, you or the prospect?  When you say something like “You made me angry,” are you assessing the emotional responsibility correctly, or are you dumping responsibility for what is, after all, your emotion?

If we were to line up ten different salespeople, five men and five women, and have them deal with a single prospect who goes off on the identical angry tirade about “the lousy, unprofessional salespeople” he’s forced to do business with, how many different reactions are we going to get from those ten salespeople?

Ten you say (quite correctly)?  Yes, all ten will have a somewhat different reaction; similar perhaps, but different to some degree.  So, if the prospect is consistent but the ten salespeople react differently, does that not tell you that responsibility for the reaction (the emotion) lies within the individual salesperson?  Sure it does.  So the next time you say “You made me angry,” or “you made me sad,” or “you made me (fill in the blank),” it would behoove you to realize you’re avoiding responsibility for what is your emoting, which truly is a lot of nonsense.  The prospect didn’t make you emote; you caused your emotion by way of your reaction to what the prospect said.

Taking responsibility for your emotions is the first step towards taking full responsibility for the entire sales process, which is what a master salesperson does 100% of the time—without exception.