How Badly Do You Want It?

Yesterday, as we were preparing to go out shopping for some new clothes for Nicki, she brought up her weight situation.  She’d recently regained all the poundage she had worked so hard and long to shed with the help of Weight Watchers®.  She had, to put it bluntly, stopped paying attention to what had worked for her and gone on a binge, and before she knew it, BINGO! she was right back to the weight she’d been to start with.  To say she was frustrated and unhappy with herself is an understatement.  The size 12 she is now, even the size 10 she was a few weeks ago, doesn’t do it for her; she wants to be a size 8 again.

“How badly do you want it?” I asked.

She frowned as she ran the hairbrush through her blonde hair, said, “What are you talking about, you know how much this weight battle drives me crazy—it’s so hard.”

“That’s your problem,” I told her; “you’re feeding your subconscious mind negative data that what you want to accomplish is “so hard,” so, naturally, that’s the feedback your subconscious gives back to you, which indeed makes achieving your goal difficult.”

She rolled her eyes.  Don’t you just love it when your beloved dismisses you with rolling eyes?

“I know of what I speak, my love,” I said and proceeded to tell her how the first thing she needed to do was reframe the difficulty issue for her subconscious by feeding it positive affirmations.  If she kept putting garbage in, garbage out would be the result.  If she began putting in positive data about how easy weight loss would be for someone who wanted it badly enough, the process would become just that—easy.

Deep sigh from Nicki.  At this point I probably should tell you that I’m so in love with this woman, whom I’ve been married to for close to 35 years now, I can’t think straight half the time.  “So, besides reframing the difficulty issue, is there anything else I need to do, darling?” she asked.

The “darling” poke in the ribs aside, “Yes, as I said before, you need to ask yourself how badly do you want it.”

“C’mon, you know how badly I want it; would I be struggling like this all these years if I didn’t want it badly enough?”

“If you wanted it badly enough,” I said, “you wouldn’t have had to struggle with it for so long; you’d have accomplished the goal once and that would have been that.”

Another deep sigh; then: “So how badly do I need to want it?”

Right then and there I got an idea.  Instead of giving her the “you need to be obsessed” speech, I decided to take her downstairs to show her a video I’d seen at  Marlon is a terrific young man whom I’ve connected with on Twitter (@marlon_nuqui); we follow each other.  So I took Nicki downstairs, opened my iPad, and we both sat there and watched what I believe is the most powerful video I have ever seen, entitled “How Bad Do You Want To Succeed?”  You can find it at under Categories, Mindset; but because you must see this video, I’m going to make it easy for you by providing a link to it:  Watch it and, like Nicki, you’ll never again wonder about “How badly do you want it?”

You’ll know without a shadow of a doubt.

Or am I being too simplistic?  After you watch the video, drop me a comment and tell me what you think.