Please Don’t Follow Me For the Wrong Reasons
Please don’t follow me for any of the following wrong reasons:
1. Your main objective is to build up your Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Facebook numbers; if quantity of numbers is more important to you than establishing relationships and the quality of those relationships.
2. You’re out to sell me something, offer me the “opportunity of a lifetime” (*rolls his eyes*) right off the bat without bothering to show an interest in me, without caring to find out who I am, what my interests are, anything else about me.
3. If you’re so self-centered that it’s all about you, that the other guy is simply there to serve your purposes, nothing more.
4. If you’ve never noticed or cared that half the term “social media” is made up of the word “social.” If you just see social media as a tool for getting what you want, never mind the social part.
5. That you think actually talking to one of your networking connections would be a waste of your precious time.
6. That deep down you really don’t like people, that you think of them as a pain in the ass, a nuisance you have to put up with in order to do business with them.
7. That deep down you don’t believe in what you’re doing, what you’re pushing on people to serve your own agenda.
8. That you have a thin skin and can’t take constructive criticism.
9. That you’re pushing a political agenda.
10. You’re going to soon unfollow me because you want a lot of followers in juxtaposition to very few people you’re following. That you’re interested in ratios, not strong relationships.
11. You’re a White Sox fan. (Okay, I’m just kidding on that one.)
I’m interested in real people, real relationships; not numbers, not superficial connections. I want to talk to people, really get to know them, be a positive force to better their lives. The best part of my retirement career has been, and continues to be, the wonderful friendships I’ve established with such great people. That in many cases they’ve led to collaborative ventures that have benefited me is, well, simply a bonus, a byproduct.
So, please follow me if you’re here for the right reasons, but don’t follow me if you’re not.
Here’s a link to a pertinent article entitled “Networking vs Netweaving: What is the Difference and Benefits?” posted by by my good friend Kenneth Darryl Brown at eweb2sales.com; I hope you’ll listen to the interview with Bob Littell: http://www.eweb2sales.com/networking-vs-netweaving-what-is-the-difference-and-benefits/
Anthony Iannarino
Bob Burg
Dave Kurlan – Understanding the Sales Force
Dr. Tony Alessandra
Jill Konrath
Lori Richardson
Tom Hopkins
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Daniel Francès
Bob,
Clearly this is a hot topic for you and given that I read (ok, kind of stalk) all of your blogs and publications, since I do believe I can learn from you, I want to put a bit of unsolicited advice on the table (thick skin, remember?)
This particular world we are in is about sales. I understand that you’re retired, but most of us are not. While we all got into this gig because we genuinely love people, and are open to and attuned to new ideas, entreprenurial thoughts and exciting ways to be motivated and embrace our professions (and life in general, let’s be honest) I don’t want to shy away from – or hide – the fact that we sell.
You sell, I sell, we all sell. That’s how we pay the mortgage; all of us.
While I can’t speak for everyone, I believe that most of us are genuinely trying to build relationships (both in person and via social media) for several reasons – I don’t think it’s as black and white as you are presenting it here today.
I pursue knowledge and am happy to give credit where credit is due. But I also sell. I think we all do.
Robert Terson
Daniel, suppose you tell me SPECIFICALLY what point(s) you take exception to. (I’m guessing it’s point 2.) I have no problem with people selling per se; it’s HOW they often go about it that I think is self-defeating. Keep in mind, too, that this post was written in the CONTEXT of following/networking–not cold calling or selling in general.
Now, as to some statements you’ve made:
1: Yes, I’m retired, which gives me more time than most people; I completely agree with that and recognize that it gives me some time advantages others don’t have. Still, if one is going to do something, why not do it the “right” way? “Right,” as in the most effective way, even if that means taking the slow but sure route. One of my favorite expressions is “The Tortoise won the race.”
2: “…we all got into this gig because we genuinely love people, and are open to and attuned to new ideas, entreprenurial thoughts and exciting ways to be motivated and embrace our professions…” Sorry, Daniel, but not all salespeople “genuinely love people,” “are open to and attuned to new ideas,” or “exciting ways to be motivated and embrace our professions…” Alas, there’s too large a percentage who see it simply as a means to an end, as a way to earn a living, nothing more. They care not at all about providing value to people. They go about the sales process ass backwards. In the context of following/networking, which, again, this particular article was written, I find that especially so and stand by what I’ve said.
3: “While I can’t speak for everyone, I believe that most of us are genuinely trying to build relationships (both in person and via social media) for several reasons – I don’t think it’s as black and white as you are presenting it here today.” Perhaps most people ARE trying to build relationships, Daniel; but, again, it’s HOW too many of them are going about it that I take exception to.
Thanks so much for your input, Daniel, and for stalking me. LOL! Very flattering.
Daniel Francès
You and I agree more than we disagree. People who are in the sales profession and are serious about it better love people. If they don’t, they are going to fail.
Honestly I believe that it’s curiosity about what makes people tick (I guess one could call that psychology?) that got me into sales to begin with – and ignorantly, I just assumed that was the case for most of us. Since I didn’t go to college, social work was not an option, so what better way to spend your days AND earn money by learning about other people, than sales?
I guess my issue with this post is not recognizing that there are at least two parts to networking, and one begets the other. I don’t think any of us needs to apologize for having an ultimate aim, especially considering most of us who are active on social media (and actually contribute meaningfully) do participate in both the SOCIAL and the NETWORKING. We all want to be able to pay the mortgage, so we begin following and studying and learning about people who are successful in the world we want to be successful in. We foster relationships with those people, for several purposes:
First, we want to learn.
Second, we want to contribute.
Third, we want to be successful – that may mean becoming more well known, booking speaking engagements, selling books, etc.
I think that it’s sanctimonious (you called yourself cantankerous once – I don’t think that’s true) to expect that there should be no personal gain aim as part of the networking process. As long as each person is not only expecting and hoping to receive but also CONTRIBUTING, I don’t think there is any need to shy away from or downplay the fact that one of the ingredients is some flavor of self-promotion.
Robert Terson
I’m privately replying to Daniel’s second comment.
Steve Birkett
Re. the back & forth between Daniel and Bob, I find the main factor to be in the order applied to the sales and the relationship.
In some environments, the sale may need to be in play at the same time as the relationship, as in so many of the scenarios described in Selling Fearlessly. This really is not the case across most social media, however, where the relationship must come very much before the sale, often months or… breathe deeply, sales professionals… years? (sorry, I’ll get the smelling salts)
We have instant access to thousands of connections in this digital world, so who am I going to buy from when my need arises, the person with whom I’ve built a trusting relationship over the last few months, or the one whose first interaction was to (automagically) suggest I buy their latest and greatest. With the best will in the world, it’s never going to be the latter.
By all means, sell to me. Just know me first.
Robert Terson
Great comment, Steve; thanks so much for sharing your take on things. I absolutely agree: there’s a huge difference between how things should be approached in a pure sales call versus networking on social media. I love the term “automagically”! And, yes, sell me something that’s in my best interest, but try to get to know me first (it can be done even in a B2C one-call-close situation), especially if it’s in the context of social media.
Terri Dunevant
I agree with most of what you say Robert. I am VERY picky about with whom I connect. I connect on Twitter if I think the person’s posts are Sales Newsworthy. I connect on Facebook mostly for personal friends, business friends, and those in business who don’t have LinkedIn accounts. But, I do use LinkedIn to connect to people whom I believe I can “sell” something to…that would be “me”. I might be able to offer them my way of thinking, my free advice, or yes – my services. You can however ask anyone I am connected to on LinkedIn, I never spam.
Robert Terson
Thanks so much for your comment, Terri. I think you’ve proffered some great advice for all of us. I think your approach is an excellent one! I especially like what you’re doing re LinkedIn. But, then, I’ve been a big fan of yours for almost two years now. Your business skills, in juxtaposition to the amazing mother you are, is Awe inspiring to me!